Mindstates— moods, flavours,

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Anger-To be part of really living in this moment, the first piece is to tune into your body. Noticing where the emotions present themselves as so often we are slow to recognise and acknowledge what we are feeling. Can we actually name the feeling that is present? So many of us can’t find the tone or right word to express our feelings.  Try going into the thoughts that are coming up, is another way into seeking a way of identifying the feeling. What stories are we caught up in? For instance, I walked into my favourite coffee shop and saw at once that someone else had taken my favourite seat in the sunny window.

” What is going on? How come she is sitting there I always sit there at this time of morning. Ok maybe she will leave soon!”

As I stood at the counter getting my drink, I realised that I was pissed off and really unhappy. Yes it was childish but I was not going to be too logical. As I saw that the lady had not moved, I realised how irritated and angry I was becoming. My chest was feeling tight, my jaw was clenched and kept looking around at her, hoping that I could get there into that sunny place. Logic could so easily have gone completely, but luckily I noticed that there was another  seat in an alcove where sunlight was hitting and in that moment, I felt a warm, satisfying rush of pleasure and relief.

Often we get so caught up in our own story – with inner voices feeding our emotions that we go down the negative path before we really get in touch with how that is amplifiying our feelings and ultimately our actions.

Checking in with yourself is the basic step of mindfulness practise where we attend to our body as a way of identiying our experiences in each moment. Perhaps it is not reasonable to expect to be in touch in every moment of every day. Wjudgmente get caught up in so many things that noticing ” at the precise time” is something we really need to practise and practise. However, if we are aware of our suffering or mood changes we have the opportunity to let go of judgment and blame. We give ourselves the chance to move away from feeding our emotional fire by listening to our own thoughts, tuning into our physical body and naming the mood and underlying deeper emotions. Anger, pain, the need to blame are all places to acknowledge but also a place to stop the reactions and the possibility of causing suffering to another person. We can taste the flavour of our moods and suffering and that which we may create for others.

Be quiet and notice—————- we judge and critisise so easily, ourselves as much as others.

Attention, attending and attendance

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Life has been given to us; to some this is a gift to others it may be a curse and to many, many millions, it is a case of choosing to leave, their homes, country of origins and search for a safe place to survive until real living returns again.

No matter where we are in our lives, from the safety of our own homes, to experiencing the storms and forces of mother nature,  the way we experience these moments in time is all down to the way we bring our attention to them. How does the youngster just beginning life as a student attend to the small details hidden within the huge somewhat overwhelming transition? Our humaness is vast and complex as we are filled with complexities of our thoughts, emotions, bodily sensations and our ability to learn. As so many wise people have said, we however are not taught how to use the power of attention.

However without attending to the smallest apple hanging on a tree, the hungry child fleeing to Europe may miss his daily sustenance. The kindness written in a letter of condolence can be overlooked in the shock and grief of an accident but the genuine comfort of attending to the words, may lift that father from a place of dispair to a glimmer of hope in a period of deep sadness.

Much has been said about the benefits and pitfalls of remaining in the past. Coaching was born from the notion that future planning and striving is the way to achieve. For me neither of these options offer me a safe place to rest inwardly.

The past has already delivered my history, captured in my memory, in a snapshot of time or from the reminisences  in tales and stories. The future is never guaranteed and I have learnt that always waiting to be successful, happy or recognised in the future, may never ever arrive. It is a strange phenomena, that this is the only moment when, if we choose, we can bring our attention to now. How succesful are we right now? How recognised am I by family and friends? How alive do I feel today as I write this blog. Assuming that we will have health, wealth and happiness tomorrow seems an assumed security. When will  we attend to really appreciating and “attending” to this moment of our life?

Attending to all that passes through our bodies and minds every waking moment is a forboding challenge for many.

We reach many statAttendinges in the present moment, much of which is fleeting almost ghost like and gone before we realise that we have thought about it or recognised the discomfort. Automatic living, busy hands, brains and a never ending information stream reaches us, touches us and then—————– we move on in some other way!  Memories, past dreams, broken hearts, unfinished suffering >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> moving on to a little recognition of the shock of seeing images of  thousands of migrants landing in Europe >>>>>>>>>>> a quick sense of injustice or fear or frustration…. and then moving on to writing this blog about attending.

In attendance to our emotional experiences and the thoughts that arise, we begin to view how we catastrophise, see the positive in people, judge ourselves, sabotage our own actions or judge the situations that we are noticing. We gain a growing sense of our own mindstates.

More in the next blog ————-