Are you really a fraud? Will you be found out?

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Just been inspired to write about this so very common phenonema that strikes us down, regularly and unwittingly.

In my life I know that I have frequently felt inadequate and often had to battle with lack of confidence. Did I become a master of camoflaging the nerves before presentations or face up to the fact that I really was an imposter as my inner voice kept warning me. Young adults, graduates or those who have just passed their driving test are great examples of those who act brave to save face. They feel that now they have to show up in the world and compete with everyone else. ” Fake it till  you make it” Some put on a shiny new facade and tackle the world with defenses and bravado, sharing with nobody the absolute fear they carry within. Those inner voices of the imposter often arise and the voices can take over and riddle our confidence with holes.

Others hear their peers bragging about their great career paths and inside they crumble and want to hide. They are not worthy of an interview for they scrapped through training college or university and will be found out as a loser if put into the headlights in an interview room.

Imposters—- frauds — clowns— comics can present themselves and we can crumble or shine but how do we go about this without experience and maturity?

Firstly we have to be aware that we indeed are full of self conflict. I remember having a track record of getting “straight A’s” or “gold stars” in most things in junior school. Then frequently as a child I heard  I was the smart one in your family or peer group? Wow did this set me up for feeling like a fraud. I knew that I had to work really hard to achieve, so that did not measure up to being smart.

Sadly this fear of failure and not being good enough stayed with me until adulthood and parenthood. Facing  my fears and doing it anyway became such a very precious mantra for me. I was for many years so terrified of being found out as the fraud.

To be continued.