Letting Go

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It's natural to let go

It’s natural to let go

Letting go of control and relaxing into the flow of our lives is a theme that I bring into my Mindfulness practice and introduce as a teacher and as a coach, to my clients.

Sometimes, our situation is the way it is whether we like it or not.  Often Carers are there to offer support and love to those with chronic illness or conditions where emotional or mental disturbances are the living reality. When we fight the truth of a situation, we create a state of fear, upset, and tunnel vision. Often we believe that this is a permanant, concrete, forever situation and here we create the inner state of resisting. We remove the options and become fixed and try to tolerate rather than letting go of trying to control and handle things on our own – self sabotaging a possible new way.

Letting go is the inner process that removes the fear, upset, and tunnel vision.  Before we can let go however we need to know what we are holding onto. Ask yourself some big questions.

What am I most frightened of? What is not my responsibility? What is stopping me from letting go?

The moment we do let go, we can restore your ability to see clearly.  A good way to see how letting go works is to look closer at our fear. Fear is really created by our thoughts and is often compounded by not accepting or resisting a future event. For example, if you have a fear of losing someone, you are resisting the future event called, “losing the person.” The more you resist losing the person, the bigger your fear. The bigger your fear, the more you feel threatened. The more you feel threatened, the more you hang on and often push the person away.

I know that my fear can dissipate and lose its power, by being strong enough to do the opposite of what created it.  If I am scared of being left alone and unloved then I need to befriend the part of me that pushes others away. Relationships can morph into something new rather than ending a perfectly acceptable friendship, in a bitter and uncaring way.

Instead of resisting the future event, be willing for the fear to come true – not in your actions, but in your heart. If just for a moment  I sit with being alone and unloved, there is always, a new option for dealing with the person we are caring for or those who we depend upon. We begin to see clearly and become very effective in handling the situation. Solutions appear and this area of life starts clearing up. This is the purpose and opportunity of letting go.

 

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